There is a difference between expecting good service and expecting the world to bow to you.
Courtesy is a two way street.
You should appreciate the help given you. As to whether you should never look a gift horse in the mouth may depend on who's giving the gift. Thank God for all that inductive/deductive reasoning many of us received as kids and passed on to ours.
And that help comes in many forms. And each has its own importance.
Many make a living serving others. Bartenders, wait staff, maids, concierges etal serve others every day. Often it's easy in a busy world to overlook this service. Of course some have more social interaction than others, bartenders as opposed to maid for instance.
On the part of folks who provide services, it is their responsibility to provide good service. Nothing is worse than having a bad night out or travelling. Well there are worse things like poor service from our elected employees, but that's another point.
Simply put, it is a two way street. I've seen double distilled a$$holes treat decent wait staff badly. Very badly. It's a real test of patience and sometimes courage how staff people deal with such. Believe me, when they are mistreated, staff have a way of reaping karma -s-. I've known a lot of people in the restaurant biz particularly btw.
I have seen such crappy service that some should be fired on the spot. And customers have ways of giving those people back.
I usually give the benefit of the doubt. The ultimate price to pay for poor service is never giving them my business again.
Case in point, I stopped at a local establishment and ordered a Tanqueray and tonic. The tender was marginally friendly and served it without a lime. She gave me one and didn't seem apologetic. Also she stiffed me for a buck. Solution was no tip and leaving. Could have been something else, but the atmosphere was generally unfriendly anyway.
I have also complained when the time was right about bad service. Generally I ask for the person to be asked what's up etc. A good manager/owner would do that anyway.
One night a while back, my son and I had travelled a good length. We settled at the hotel then ventured out for a brief excursion. Finding ourselves tired we retreated to the hotel and to the restaurant adjacent.
It was late Friday night and the place was busy, apparently a popular spot in town. The waitress was nice and we shot off our orders. It took a bit to focus we were so tired. The orders had backed up so we waited. My son was so tired that he put his head down on the table and dozed! It's not a practice I condone usually but with the delay etc I let it go.
It finally came with much apology. I said I understood. I had watched this kid serving. She did her job, not great, not bad. I could tell she was sorry and she was truly concerned we were so tired.
The food was good and I tipped her. That's it and we sauntered gratefully to our room.
Another note. The concierge was great. She bent over backwards to help us and didn't flinch when I mentioned a shooter's club -s-.
Just some examples and a point to make.
Make sure what's going on. Expect and even demand when appropriate, service. Don't be an ass. But if needs be, don't put up with bad service. I've seen people allow themselves to be bullied when they actually received crap on a platter in attitude (motel rooms I've known and hated+bad tude as it were rather than 'make a scene'.
One quick last tale. My then wife and I reserved a room when going to NYC. She found a place cheaper than the last time. We soon found out why. It looked like a thrid world hovel. these mokes demanded the whole stay's money up front and looking at the room, it was in broken shape with moldy batroom, crappy bed and the furniture was actually broken. We booked it to the other place and had a great stay after I told them they should get a grip on what sells.
Depend on it. If you settle for bad service, you will get it.
Mutual respect is recommended.
Everybody should care how and what they do.
If they don't, make waves.
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